re-branding

sometimes your life is in need of a little "rebrand." i should know all about this--i rebrand jewlery stores, scholarship office images and famous talking bears all day long. since being home, i really haven't done anything physically drastic to myself, like most returned sisters do. no major weightloss or weight gain (thank Heavens!!), no new hair color, eye color, no tanning, plumping, nipping or tucking. but i feel like i could improve my outward image a bit. i'm caught right now in that limbo (still) of trying to figure out who exactly i am, post-mission. you get so used to following the schedule and trying your best to do everything right that you forget what you used to fill your down time with. i actually really hate down time now, and i'm grateful i don't have a lot of it, but on the weekends and weekdays when i don't have to constantly think about re-branding the stores, offices and talking bears, it would be nice to connect with what i used to love to do, becuase THAT will be the first key in re-branding the outer me. what do i like to do anyways? i am majoring in advertising and creative writing, and i do love to wield a pen. simply adore it. but all great writers are always great readers too, and i do love to read. i wouldn't consider myself extremely WELL read, but i'm getting there. as an aspiring great writer and reader, i need to figure out what styles i really like and could possibly emulate in some small way in the hopes of discovering my own written voice in the world. something i have discovered upon being back, though, is that flannery o'connor speaks to my soul, and nathaniel hawthorne does not. and occassionally, and very surprisingly, i will stumble accross something by melville (of all people) that my heart will simply answer back to. i have always loved short stories, sometimes an un-riveting novel can really try my attention span. what else...oh yes: i hate throwing parties. love to be in attendance, but hate throwing the darn things! i guess i always have known this and i've always blamed it on my un-love for cooking (which is also changing) and now i realize that the social anxiety of it all is too much for this little city girl's heart to handle. i hate watching tv unless it is a show i'm invested in, you've always got to have a few, currently my top picks are:
1. so you think you can dance
2. say yes to the dress
3. history detectives
that's about all i have time for. i have rediscovered how much i LOVE going to the theatre though. whether it's a movie, play, concert, symphony, ballet...love 'em. ambiance is huge in my book. speaking of which: restaurants. only with good friends and dates you're not worried about impressing. when you're with someone new and slightly intimidating, the journey from dinner plate to mouth, via fork, can seem endless (and slightly rocky in my case). teaching and reading the Scriptures are also newly discovered loves. well, i've always read the scriptures, but now after i've bruised and blistered my knuckles on just about every door in cleveland because of them, i truly do love the educational and cathartic effects of an hour or so in their presence. luckily i get to explore both of these loves together as i am a relief society teacher in my ward. there really are so many incredible possibilities of ways that you can spend your days. now that my days are really endless p-days, what i fill them with seems almost an overwhelming and daunting task. what will i do with all of this time and opportunity? well, currently, a 2-pager on antigone is calling my name...