Adolescence Part II

Spending time with my 13 year-old sister this past weekend really has taken a toll on my post-mission readjustment psyche. Yikes. I realized that in starting my life over as a young, American twenty-something, there are things that I am still oh so adolescent about. Readjusting to real life after a mission is kind of like going through puberty again, or revisiting all of those painful rites of passage that I thought I had already successfully passed through. If I learned anything from this weekend, it was that I am still back at square one now more than ever. I'm back to being the new girl in 8th grade, the one alone at the lunch table hoping to not stand out too much, trying to find some busy work to do (like applying the 50th layer of chapstick) to avoid the looks of disapproving "cool kids," but wanting so badly to gain an occasional nod of acceptance every now and then. I am still that girl. The one trying to find her way through the web of confusing corridors, hallways and abbreviations that inundate you as a new middle-schooler, only now, I'm trying to relearn modern American lingo that has changed in the last 19 months: "twitter," "scene" and "Robert Pattinson" (more to come on that later)...

Coming to the realization amidst painting your fingernails to the tune of "Hey, Juliet" that your fears and aspirations at 13 are now your fears and aspirations at 22 1/2 can be a little disheartening! I thought, 'have I changed at all?' Or was my mission such a refreshing new beginning that I am at the starting line, on the cusp of a real life (without cotton) yet again, naturally? Is this how life works? You go through an altering, extended, displacing experience and upon your return to your former state of being, you find yourself jumping through some all too familiar social hoops once again?  Is this part of the "become like a little child" experience where, now equipped with supposed greater knowledge, confidence and skill, you are expected to almost repeat some of the same experiences you once had to face? One thing I was SURE of when I left my mission was that I could handle any social situation at any given time. I had had 18 months of striking up controversial conversations with complete strangers on their doorsteps, in the streets, and all over the parking lots of Cleveland, Ohio...Single's Ward? No prob. Wrong. Cheeks still turned red. Jawbones still quivered, and awkward exits post introductions were indeed made. 8th grade all over again. 

Saturday afternoon, we went to the Crest to see "Twilight." Thoroughly convinced by my preconceived notion that it was another "lame" teen movie that I was just humoring my sisters by going to. Wrong again. I found myself experiencing those same twittering butterflies and wide-eyed fascination when you discover your first celebrity heart-throb. Yep, you guessed it: I am a "Cullenite." And by now, I know (via Google) just about everything I could ever even hope to know about Robert Pattinson. Ah, young, highly unattainable love. 

So, with these startling new discoveries, is there any hope for me and my ability to readjust to life as red-blooded, socially acceptable American co-ed? Stay tuned.